Getting what you don't expect from the Internet ('f**k the police')

I love China

The Mum exclaimed-

But I can't believe they sent me this,

I only put it on Salem because

She can't read.

Dangers of online shopping,

We move away from the High Street

Towards convenience of

The click of a button.

Perhaps allure of

A suprise awaits-

When we really don't know

What we're getting,

The climate of today.

© Amanda Derry

Mum buys 3-year-old daughter a 'cute' t-shirt online, but receives one reading 'F*** the police'

Amanda Derry - [Facebook Group: I Love Writing]

Amanda joined a Creative Writing class, following a breakdown, which played a significant role in her recovery. She now embeds literacy skills into classes that she teaches.

Bee in the eye of the EU

May, doing her best

To uphold a democratic vote-

Crawling back into the eye of the EU

Feeding on whatever tears

It has left, for us.

The EU musn't rub that irritation-

Keep in the clear lens of Tusk

Struggling with their vision.

Macron wants the May bee squished,

Never mind we'll go blind

His voice is loud and declares the deadline-

Halloween; 

"Don't waste our time!" Tusk declares.

May the bees not multiply

And feed on tears in the lens

Whilst all our deals die.

🐝 

© Amanda Derry

Brexit: UK and EU agree delay to 31 October

Taiwan doctor finds four sweat bees living inside woman's eye

Amanda Derry - [Facebook Group: I Love Writing]

Amanda joined a Creative Writing class, following a breakdown, which played a significant role in her recovery. She now embeds literacy skills into classes that she teaches.

Who says it isn't an age of irresponsibility?

They are building a care home across the way

We hear beeping from lorries during the day,

My current term for it is 'The Monster'

A place where declining old age is managed-

Effects of old age can be savage

They may have memory boxes outside the rooms

As lyrical epitaphs.

Next to the care home is a bridge

Drug dealers deal, under it

I was hoping they'd be forced to stop,

When Managers of the care home

Cotton on.

But perhaps clients could sneak out

To buy an ounce,

Sit back and reminisce

They could try having LSD-

OAP's roaming our vicinity

Confused and lost, but maybe happy

Ecstasy could spread the love-

Who says relationships need to stop?

My Mum and Dad have misbehaved

To our consternation;

Revenge for our teenaged years.

The 60's generation aren't like the one before-

Happy to don woollen hats and brown coats

And slip into an aged abyss.

No, the new oldies

Will go under fighting,

Waving their psychedelic flags

All the way.

© Amanda Derry

Drug trips, not broken hips: let later life be the age of irresponsibility

Amanda Derry - [Facebook Group: I Love Writing]

Amanda joined a Creative Writing class, following a breakdown, which played a significant role in her recovery. She now embeds literacy skills into classes that she teaches.

Sizing

Sizing

The fashion wardrobe at NASA

Aren't doing too well-

The shoes clumpy,

The main body

Rather lumpy too.

The headwear does nothing

If you want it to be flattering,

And medium (female size) costumes

Are not available for two.

© Amanda Derry

NASA Cancels Historic All-Female Spacewalk Over Lack Of Spacesuits In Proper Size

The Firm

The Firm

Harry and Meghan want independence-

Will there be cries of "Mrs Simpson"!

Outsiders have always been viewed with suspicion;

Not ingratiated into duty, service, restriction-

This is the Firm, after all.

© Amanda Derry

Queen 'vetoes' Meghan and Harry's bid to break from Buckingham Palace

Self(ie)-made

Self(ie)-made

She isn't like her sisters

Posting their lives on Insta-

Inviting unwanted attention or comments;

Except no publicity is bad

She's savvy enough to use

Most of the attention for cosmetics,

Although she is the brand, not them.

There may've been loads in the Boots Christmas sale;

But you aren't with it if you don't have

Karshadian-Jenner eyebrows

And beauty is all.

© Amanda Derry

Kylie Jenner: Is she really a 'self-made' billionaire?

Equal ♀

“Woman is the companion of man, gifted with equal mental capacity,” said Ghandi.

We have access to equal rights

As men do

Let's not make it a war, a struggle,

Let the sexes work together-

There is an International men's day too.

© Amanda Derry

International Women's Day 2019: How the day began and why the fight for women's rights is still necessary

Amanda joined a Creative Writing class, following a breakdown, which played a significant role in her recovery. She now embeds literacy skills into classes that she teaches.

Self-Love

Self-Love

Autosexual, hetereosexual, bi-sexual,

Homosexual-

Just labels.

Dress up, have a meal deal (for one)

In your apartment

Take yourself to the cinema,

Complement yourself daily-

It's a win-win.

Engagement may be feasible-

Marriage harder

Except cheaper, on the honeymoon.

Everyone should take tips

On loving themselves!

© Amanda Derry

What’s it like being autosexual, when you’re attracted to yourself?

Momo Challenge

Be careful who your child friends

On What's app or other digital platforms-

Momo may pop up in Peppa Pig,

Fortnite or You-Tube

With dubious challenges.

It isn't a character spawned 

From a satanic cyber realm-

Doubtlessly promoted by teenagers,

Or sad figures attached to their computers

Wanting a laugh.

Cyber bullying and stealing has also cropped up,

But crank up digital safety awareness

And wipe the pesky thing out!

© Amanda Derry

MOMO 'CHALLENGE': POLICE WARN OVER HORRIFYING PICTURE THAT IS ADDING PEOPLE ON WHATSAPP IN CHILLING ATTACK

Amanda joined a Creative Writing class, following a breakdown, which played a significant role in her recovery. She now embeds literacy skills into classes that she teaches.

Oh Justin!

Oh Justin!

Unicorn of hope,

Haloed, open shirted boy;

You made me believe a Government could be ethical

Minority rights were feasible,

That fairer politics was possible

I hope this case results in your favour

And what I always (secretly) believed,

That politics is unworkable for the people-

Isn't true.

© Amanda Derry

Justin Trudeau’s disgrace is like watching a unicorn get run over

POEMS FOR THE PLANET - What can I do? (One and a half degrees)

What can I do? (One and a half degrees)

Throwing away a plastic carton

On a train, not taking it home to wash

And recycle;

It's grubby and will get over my bag,

Like the paper coffee cup

I took home once and decided

That was not a good idea.

When I click the order button

On the online clothing forum

I try not to think of the person who made it;

In a factory in China

Where workers sleep on the premises

Or in India, where factory effluent

Seeps into the rivers,

After seeing the gallons of water

Used to make cotton

I don't want to buy it-do I check all my labels.

I can't as a rule, afford organic;

I've discovered the market

For seasonal veg-

Who needs strawberries in January?

We aren't driving, anymore

Our flying footprint is very low

Is it enough?

Making steps forwards and backwards,

Perhaps better than just backwards-

Big, guzzling consumers devouring the planet;

Climate change deniers

During the big freeze Trump asked for global warming-

He has it now, for the next ten years;

Warmer temps shifting up the

Thermometer pole

To be aware

Is not much to ask.

© Amanda Derry

Climate change: World heading for warmest decade, says Met Office

Amanda joined a Creative Writing class, following a breakdown, which played a significant role in her recovery. She now embeds literacy skills into classes that she teaches.

The story of O

The story of O

A letter O

Instead of a zero

Can make the difference between a fine

Or none

Although down to dyslexia

This could happen to anyone.

© Amanda Derry

Husband promises to fight Exeter parking ticket after dyslexic wife enters wrong registration

Cat Love

Cat Love

If I could marry a cat I would,

He said of his feline friend

Who may have offered better companionship

Than vacuous hangers-on;

However he could've demonstrated better taste

Than a Persian one.

© Amanda Derry

Karl Lagerfeld’s beloved cat Choupette ‘to inherit’ £150 million fortune following death of designer at 85

An Isis Love Story

An Isis Love Story

The best thing about her experience was

Her husband, the Jihadi bride said,

He was currently in a camp, allegedly had up

By Isis for spying

Her other two children had died but

She wants to come home with her third,

Her 'only regret' being she may not see him again-

He treated her well.

© Amanda Derry

Jihadi bride Shamima Begum who fled UK describes the 'best part' of living under ISIS

In the Pink

In the Pink

Mel's Fendi coat was sold out

With pretty mink cuffs

And fetching check pattern

Is she wearing a bathrobe?

Twitter asked-

Looks like she's stepped out

Of the bathroom,

Chances are it'll be worn once-

But at least

There is a back-up plan.

© Amanda Derry

Twitter Thinks Melania Trump's Pink Fendi Coat Looks Like A Bathrobe

The Chase

The Chase

Two train changes, cross-country,

Delays in the aftermath of Christmas-

I arrive at Dad's exhausted

He watches The Chase, too loud

Blaring ITV images;

Answering quiz questions

Is good for his brain, Anne explains.

The following day I'm willing to watch 

University Challenge, Pointless-

Not, The Chase.

© Amanda Derry

The Chase Contestant Makes History With Biggest-Ever Win For Solo Player

A colossal disaster

An 8,000 mile trip

From New York to Hong Kong

Over the Arctic, doesn't sound an easy one.

A passenger was taken ill-

They had to divert to Goose Bay

In Canada; an old air base

Built by the Empire.

Waiting 15 hours in -20 degrees,

The plane door was damaged-

No-one available to work overnight

Some poor sod had to stand

By the door for security.

Someone replied under the article-

"A colossal disaster- give me strength".

© Amanda Derry

PASSENGERS STRANDED ON REMOTE CANADIAN MILITARY AIRFIELD FOR 15 HOURS AMID -20C WEATHER IN ‘COLOSSAL DISASTER’ NEW YORK-HONG KONG FLIGHT

Amanda joined a Creative Writing class, following a breakdown, which played a significant role in her recovery. She now embeds literacy skills into classes that she teaches.

Royal collision

Royal collision

Philip has retired from public duty;
Still insisting on driving his Rover
Involved in a collision,
His breath limits were taken
He's currently being looked after by Wifey.

© Amanda Derry

Man ‘who pulled Prince Philip, 97, from wreckage had his blood on his hands’

Darknet

Darknet

Tumblr is cleaning up
Creepshots of people fully clothed,
Pornography with cloned heads
Non-consensual has been moved
From the sexual.
Desperate for a look,
A fantasy, a laugh-
A five minute distraction
Salacious clips
Crawl the Darknet,
The underbelly
Of our humanity.

© Amanda Derry

Tumblr bans non-consensual creepshots and deepfake porn

20% profit

20% profit

Green belt land is bulldozed
For 1,300 new homes-
Locals don't like it because
There's no 'affordable' housing or bungalows.
It's convenient for the private school Kings-
And routes into Manchester and Wales
Though Wrexham Road will be clogged up-
That's someone else's problem;
The developers just want
Their 20% profit and to move on.

© Amanda Derry

New Chester housing will be posh homes for affluent people - Cheshire Live comment