Fake News - Old People Are The Problem!

Old folks must give their benefits away

To make it fair for young folk so they say

The global mess was caused by hair that's grey

It's time for seventy five year olds to pay

Give up the TV licence, peers do bay

You don't need winter fuel, you've had your day

You live too long, it costs too much that way

No wonder old folks nerves begin to fray

For young folks times are hard is truth laid bare

But not because of folk with silver hair

Who chose to privatise our health and care?

Whose money went off shore to rich men's lairs?

Who watches as the social fabric tears?

Who sold the Council Houses now so rare?

Who charges rents so high they are not fair?

It's not the old or young, they wouldn't dare

They want  to cut  us up and  therefore rule

They want  the money, not for winter fuel

Let old folks keep warm eating winter gruel

Then young folks needn't worry they're too cool

Set young on old, let generations duel

While politician's hide their gold and jewels

Leave citizens in zero hours pools

No profits to the ones who work the tools

First disabled or workshy ones  must  quake

Old folks in beds must shiver and must shake

Give to the rich and from the poor let's  take

If they are hungry let them cry a lake

But  lessons from the past do not forsake

For tales of old might keep the rich awake

Miss Antoinette said there's no bread to bake

Don't worry old folk you can still eat cake

Spoiler alert - it ended badly!

© Lesley Webb

Curbing pensioner benefits could help the young, says report

Lesley Webb

Lesley is a member of the Gillingham (Dorset) Writing Group, she writes poetry and fiction
and has had a Pocket Novel and a short story published recently.

Deal or No Deal?

How many minutes, or months or pounds must we waste?

In how many circles must tails of MPs still be chased?

I want to stay, you want to leave and in haste

Day after day  the discussion with anger is laced

Nothing else happens, the vacuum is really not faced

As down to the bottom all  manners and  bearing have raced

At one time  these islands with kindness and patience were graced

Now the new normal is acting in  very poor taste

MPs have voted on motions again and again

Theresa May's deal is rejected, her work is in vain

'Take back control' was the message, instead its a pain

Easy trade deals it now seems are much harder to gain

Deal or no deal? People's interest has started to wane

Anti or pro EU membership leaves us in twain

Anger is now on our people a divisive stain

Numbed by uncertainty, stasis our energy drains

Did you ever wonder, when hearing our Parliament's din

Just why Brexit happened, whose interest it really is in?

And while our democracy slides down this Brexit dustbin

Who's sitting and watching while trying to cover their grin?

I don't think it's May, Tusk or Barnier or even Corbyn

So who's sitting quiety waiting their game here to win?

Take care not to trust all the headlines, the fake story spin

Extremism, anger and hatred are kith and are kin.

© Lesley Webb

MPs Debate Whether to Prevent No Deal

Lesley Webb

Lesley is a member of the Gillingham (Dorset) Writing Group, she writes poetry and fiction
and has had a Pocket Novel and a short story published recently.

How to Organise a Piss Up in a Brewery

First decide what a Brewery is

Make a note of any complications likely to be encountered 

When in or out of the Brewery

If there is more than one route don't take the wrong one and go down a dead end

Remember you have to take people with you

Ask them what sort of brewing product they want

On one small island they make a very dark and bitter brew

It is not to everyone's taste

Don't make the mistake of thinking your brew will please everyone

A micro brewery is  specialist  but won't fit everyone 

Try to appeal to the whole community not just the angry mob who shout the loudest

Many people want to  remain in a Brewery even when the angry ones don't

Long before you plan the visit, get a road map, look for the hazards that lie in your path

Make sure you have costed the plan accurately, for example 

Don't advertise on a bus that £350,000 will be accrued when the

Pissup will actually cost £36 billion - I think that is very unwise

It now seems to be a much more complex thing when you lay it all out doesn't it

Perhaps that is why the government and MPs couldn't do it?

© Lesley Webb

Brexit: Government plans to hold new vote

Lesley Webb

Lesley is a member of the Gillingham (Dorset) Writing Group, she writes poetry and fiction
and has had a Pocket Novel and a short story published recently.

It it worth sacrificing our country for this lunacy?

It it worth sacrificing our country for this lunacy?

Oh my goodness what's that I hear?

Mps voted result is clear

No longer whipped they cast off fear

Instead they just ignored the steer

So now across the House they jeer

How did proceedings get so queer?

Are party leaders left in fear?

Mps resign or just change gear

Brexit delayed another year

Lets stop this madness, end it here

Express regret, don't shed a tear

Say Brexit's dead, its cost too dear

© Lesley Webb

Brexit: MPs vote by a majority of 211 to seek delay to EU departure

More talks to break deadlock

She's on her travels yet again

For talks to break the deadlock

Yet while she's on the Brussels train

The Brexit clock goes tick tock.

The WASPI women wait in vain

For pensions they can't unlock

Their money's gone for other's gain

In bungs, the nation's in hock.

Was the money spent in vain?

Can we from Europe unlock?

'A special place in hell' the gain

For Brexiteers in the dock.

Will it be worth the nation's pain

To stand alone on these rocks?

You can't yet know if you were sane

When you ticked 'leave' in a box.

When March winds cede to April rain

Will all the world Great Britain mock?

Or will she travel yet again

Her head against a wall to knock?

© Lesley Webb

Brexit: May says she can get deal through with binding changes

Lesley is a member of the Gillingham (Dorset) Writing Group, she writes poetry and fiction
and has had a Pocket Novel and a short story published recently.

Cabinet Ramps Up Preparations For No Deal

At first to keep the numbers up she paid a billion quid

The DUP now in her pay would do just as she bid

The magic money tree bore fruit it was as if she fed it

That sum seemed so immense to those on Universal Credit

But still her party hunted her like angry baying hounds

To get away from them she took a train, to Brussels bound

She tried to get the deal re-viewed but EU leaders hid

They couldn't re-negotiate, it wasn't what they did

'And as for nebulous', the man was sure he never said it

'But why when we've a deal in place do UK folks not ged it?'

So 1950s womens' pensions still cannot be found

Yet down the sofa she can find two billion sterling pounds

The can she's kicking down the road says 'No Deal' on the lid

So surely then of this nightmare Theresa can be rid

When every day the news gets worse she really must now dread it

Just leave the poison chalice that is also known as Brexit!

© Lesley Webb

Brexit: Cabinet 'ramps up' no-deal planning

Lesley Webb is a member of the Gillingham (Dorset) Writing Group, she writes poetry and fiction

and has had a Pocket Novel and a short story published recently.

Brexit means Brexit (or does it?)

Theresa got the deal done and assured us 'Its the best'
The 'Backstop's not a problem' if it meets her red line test
She sent out all the cabinet to quell MPs unrest
Persuade them not to vote against became the Ministers' quest
Their weekend ruined as she sent them North, South, East and West
Liz Truss made some black pudding, but not with too much zest
And as they travelled round some even wore a yellow vest
They left their homes and families, and could not invite guests
And muttered underneath their breath 'Theresa's such a pest'
And all to keep dissenters down, those vipers in her nest
But now she's had to stop the vote, its serious not a jest
Brexit means Brexit, NOT, it seems. I really must protest!

© Lesley Webb

Brexit: MPs debate EU court ruling

Lesley Webb is a member of the Gillingham (Dorset) writing group. She has published some fiction and writes poems to quell her fear of the omnishambles!

Overcrowded Cornwall

Overcrowded Cornwall

I am really sorry but Cornwall is full
I know it is lovely, a holiday pull
But too many people have come for the sun
And stopped it from being a place of real fun
There's far too much traffic, and tourists in cars
Cause chaos and somehow the ambience mars
We can't get to work, we are frequently late
Emergency vehicles in queues have to wait
And so Visit Cornwall says please don't come here
Perhaps visit Devon? It's lovely, and near!

© Lesley Webb

Cornwall hit by 'tourist overcrowding' amid UK heatwave