Monday, 8 April 2019

1st April 2019

In the i newspaper, deputy editor Andrew Webster invited readers to pick out the April Fool headline. I found (perhaps unluckily) 13

Licence to krill: US plans to turn fish into spies

Facebook has too much power, admits Zuckerberg

Saudis ‘hacked phone of Amazon chief’

Berlusconi to stand in European election

‘Biggest ever’ rise in living wage

PM to seek fourth vote on Brexit deal

Hard to swallow: British biscuits axed by Brexit

PM could ask the Queen to block MPs’ Brexit plan

Teachers to be held accountable on knife crime

Fairy shots [photographs] under the hammer

Comedian leads polls in vote for next president

Cows ‘valued over women’

Free turmeric for over 50s

April Fool’s Day 2019: How to avoid falling victim to the biggest pranks and jokes

David Punter - [Blog: David Punter]

David is a poet and critic, and has published many poems before in, for example, PN Review, Encounter, The Rialto and elsewhere. I have also published six poetry pamphlets.

Thursday, 28 February 2019

Funhouse

Welcome to the funhouse!

Here is our first exhibit:

two lists of names of almost

identical length. We call this

a Decisive Referendum Victory.

In here, please; you will see

a scatter of green benches, a few

elderly persons sleeping. This is

the place where all our laws are scrutinised;

the Upper Chamber of Parliament.

We won’t show you the Lower Chamber;

you can hear from outside

that the noise is far too bestial,

the level of language too primitive -

it’s Prime Minister’s Question Time.

These gleaming towers along the river

are the homes of bankers, a race

or people who love to steal your money

but cannot be prevented because

they are so rich and well-protected.

Here there are knives and blood

and people crying out in pain and despair,

some in beds, some in uniforms -

no no, it is not a torture chamber,

it is the National Health Service.

See that jolly policeman? Oh dear,

he has knocked a boy down by accident

and the boy has turned quite black

with regret at all the trouble

he is causing. Please don’t stare.

Please please: don’t stare.

Theresa May offers MPs Brexit delay vote

David is a poet and critic, and has published many poems before in, for example, PN Review, Encounter, The Rialto and elsewhere. I have also published six poetry pamphlets. My blog is davidpunter.wordpress.com