Topical At The Time: You Can Call Me Dave

Performed by Elvis McGonagall at the Gilded Balloon press launch at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2009.

We asked Elvis to tell us a bit more about his poem. This is what he said:

"The poem was written around the time Cameron was elected Tory leader and had made a speech to the party conference that the media were wetting themselves over. I think he said "Change, optimism, hope" in an interview. I just thought - oh for f**k's sake I've heard all this before. Empty soundbites in classical tricola.

I still use it in my live sets - people seem to find it funny.

As for writing topical stuff - well I guess it's better than venting one's spleen via a bottle of gin and a blunderbuss aimed at the purveyors of cant and hypocrisy."

Learn more about Elvis, HERE

A Just Society

Some maintain that a just society
puts the needs of the poor
before the demands of the rich.

Yet consider the plight
of the six members of the present cabinet
who are not yet millionaires.

What kind of a just society is it that forces
Vince Cable to buy his shirts
and business studies books from Oxfam?

What kind of a just society sends
Andrew Lansley crawling to loan sharks
to pay for his prescription charges?

What kind of a just society lets Eric Pickles
queue for three hours for his Housing Benefit,
due to a scarcity of counter staff?

What kind of a just society confers
on Baroness Warsi the status of poor
non-Oxbridge educated Asian woman?

What kind of a just society could invent
the Chief-whip’s whip-round for Patrick McLoughlin’s
bus fare to his Derbyshire constituency?

What kind of a just society reduces
Danny Alexander to selling the Big Issue
on the streets of Glasgow at the weekend?

Expect the other twenty three to soon dig deep
into their combined sixty-three millions
and bail out their poverty-stricken colleagues.

© Colin Watts

Colin Watts is author of four collections of poems. He works in Adult Learning and is not a millionaire. http://www.colinwatts.net/