The Supreme Sacrifice

Dear Marcus, thank you for your note,
And good luck with that sinking boat.

I'd like to close this chapter now,
Before I'm brought to book somehow.
I do not wish to make a fuss
And so I shall be generous.

I'll happily give up my shares
In Barclays' various affairs.
You needn't give me office space;
I'll work beneath a bridge someplace.

And by the way, you can relax -
I won't force you to pay my tax.

But, given all that I could say,
I'm sure that you'll be glad to pay
No more or less than what is due:
Let's say a million or two.

Now, once you've settled up this bill
I'll take my hands from out the till,
And leave you, Marcus, to arrange
Some semblance of a culture change.

Spare not a thought for poor old me:
Ever your servant, Diamond, B.

© Philip Challinor


Ex-Barclays boss Bob Diamond under pressure to hand £2m payoff to charity

Weblog: The Curmudgeon - You'll come for the curses. You'll stay for the mudgeonry.
Books: Philip Challinor's Books

Diamond Geezer

There is a diamond geezer
worth a bob or two.
He had a scheme to bank on
at the cost of me and you.

A bunch of merchant bankers
and their mates from public school
found a way to have a yacht life
that they thought was really cool.

You take a punt on dodgy markets
that might just make a mint
but if it all goes pear shaped
you never will go skint.

When times get rough, some tax cash
will bail us all out.
Wait things out a while,
then back in with your snout.

Get more cash in with charges
on the plebs with overdrafts,
then stack your wad with bonuses
and shares to stash away.

Merlin the magician
couldn't conjure more than us.
There are diamonds in those boardrooms
and they couldn't give a toss.

© Malcolm Saunders (Malpoet)

Barclays chief executive Bob Diamond gets £6.5m bonus

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Retired, cantankerous, libertarian and occasionally a poet, I am probably malodorous, but seek to avoid being malicious or malevolent so I vent malapert musings through malpoetry. Malpoet blog