Cabinet Ramps Up Preparations For No Deal

At first to keep the numbers up she paid a billion quid

The DUP now in her pay would do just as she bid

The magic money tree bore fruit it was as if she fed it

That sum seemed so immense to those on Universal Credit

But still her party hunted her like angry baying hounds

To get away from them she took a train, to Brussels bound

She tried to get the deal re-viewed but EU leaders hid

They couldn't re-negotiate, it wasn't what they did

'And as for nebulous', the man was sure he never said it

'But why when we've a deal in place do UK folks not ged it?'

So 1950s womens' pensions still cannot be found

Yet down the sofa she can find two billion sterling pounds

The can she's kicking down the road says 'No Deal' on the lid

So surely then of this nightmare Theresa can be rid

When every day the news gets worse she really must now dread it

Just leave the poison chalice that is also known as Brexit!

© Lesley Webb

Brexit: Cabinet 'ramps up' no-deal planning

Lesley Webb is a member of the Gillingham (Dorset) Writing Group, she writes poetry and fiction

and has had a Pocket Novel and a short story published recently.

The Eton Gloat Song

When you are at Eton the students play tricks
So I hid the headmaster’s bike
He wrote to my Dad, “that’s my lad” said my Dad
‘Cause I was at Eton, we do what we like

When I left school I worked for a Judge
I got drunk, hung his wig on a spike
He was very polite when he sacked me that night
But I went to Eton, so I’ll be alright

So I joined the Navy to travel the World
And I met a young Russian named Mike
We sneaked into Spain sold Hash and Cocaine
‘Cause I went to Eton, we do what we like

We made lots of cash so to China we went
The journey was quite a long hike
Blue Films we imported, I was quietly deported
‘Cause I went to Eton they only jailed Mike

Then back to Britain, I hastily returned
And stood for Election at Pinner
To my Polling Station flocked friends and relations
Because of dear Eton, I was easily the winner

The time came to choose our Prime Minister
I wanted the job and the glamour
The election was done, I easily won
I’m from Eton, the rest were all Grammar.

© Ralph Killey

Tory backbencher calls Cameron an 'arrogant posh boy'
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Ralph Killey worked on the Liverpool Echo for thirty years and became part owner of World Group Newspapers, Lancashire. He has a collection entitled: 'When there's Notin' on the Tele'.