We didn’t start the pie fight

1 – 9 – 7 – 0h,
over forty years ago,
Thomas Forcade threw a pie,
walloped Otto, porno guy.

Shortly after, Aron Kay
splattered Bryant, anti-gay,
Andy Warhol,
Captain Kirk –
pieing in the sky.

‘Save the planet’ Keith was smacked,
‘Stuff the planet’ Clarkson, whacked;
pies are flying left and right,
off the planet, David Icke.

Charlie Colson, Watergate;
Calvin Klein, but by mistake;
Carl XVI, the Swedish king;
Jeffrey Skilling (meant for him).

    We didn’t start the pie fight,
       but you’ll know you’re busted
      when you taste the custard.
    We didn’t start the pie fight –
      Well, perhaps we mighta,
      just to spite you blighter.

Bernard-Henri Lévy thought
thinking men should not be caught;
Horowitz was not amused,
similarly disabused.

David Shayler, British spy,
custard in his prying eye;
Movie-maker Godard laughed,
pie’s arrest defused.

Milton Friedman paid the price;
Emma Thompson: “Very nice.”
Rambo took it like a man;
Mocha pie for Moynihan.

One Canuck against G.M.
pied the P.M., Chrétien;
William Henry Gates the Third,
facial-creamed in Belgium.

    Whee! Did you see the pie fly?
      Don’t behave too snobby,
      or become too cocky.
    Whee! When you see the pie fly,
      better grin and bear it,
      cos you’re gonna wear it.

Guru Maharaj Ji’s god –
Why not stop the flying glob?
Was it written in the stars?
Ditto Father Léonard’s.

Parizeau and Péladeau,
Pettigrew and Duchesneau
Yankee’s fielder Swisher twice,
thrice is on the cards.

Widdecombe and Mandelson;
Messianic Vorilhon;
Comic artist Tommy Yune;
Politician Pim Fortuyn.

Clair Short. Allan Rock.
Willie Brown. Murdoch.
World Bank Wolfenson.
Still the list goes on and on . . .

    Who’s gonna stop the pie fight?
      Everybody in it’s
      clearly out to win it.
    Who doesn’t love a pie fight,
      a bit of hue and cry
      and seeing custard fly and fly and fly . . . ?

© Anthony Baverstock


Phone hacking: Man charged over Murdoch pie protest
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Anthony Baverstock is from Colchester, reputed home of Humpty-Dumpty.

End Of

It is a media necrosis
no real news
supporting the ailing
bulky mass,
vessels cauterised,
head and mind
vague,
last issue been and
gone,
they support nothing,
all that was,
was their creation
they gave us a need
for celebrity and sex,
gullible we drank it up,
wanting more
stories garish even perverse
to feed our addiction,
they spread the word,
viral parasitic forms
collated stories,
by any means,
with powers and no
probable cause,
a dictatorship would be
proud,
they monitored and probed
delving deeper
than the taxman,
now as we become shocked,
as if dawning to our
misgivings,
we bay for blood
and call for this
ailing media to be
assisted in it's
end.

© Chris Lawrence

Phone hacking: spreading scandal, mounting questions
------------------------------------------------------------------
Chris Lawrence lives with his muse in West Kirby and writes, having been published in many journals internationally and can be found on twitter @clawfish.
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Editor's note: News of the World might be no more, but our usual Sunday Review (full of celebrity gossip, violence and voyeursim!) will be here as usual tomorrow

Inconceivably Innocent

"Go, hack a phone!" I never said it,
And to conceive me with such guilt
May cause a nasty bit of wilt
In credulous employees' credit.

The right-hand path: I'll always tread it.
The red-tops' red-top stunna, me!
The Murdochs' holy company:
I'll lead it as I've always led it.

You see, I was just there to edit.
The Guardian may lead the fools on -
I'm innocent as Andy Coulson!
News of the World? I hardly read it.

© Philip Challinor

Rebekah Brooks: 'It's inconceivable I knew of Milly Dowler phone hacking'
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Philip blogs at 'The Curmudgeon' - He insists, "You'll come for the curses. You'll stay for the mudgeonry." Philip is the author of a number of books.